Indecent SMS Jokes

→  This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!
→  Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
→  Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless.
→  Don't be sad... don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too...
→  Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!
→  I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark
→  What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
→  Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz the good ones are always taken and the rest are all disabled!
→  A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
→  According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS Five RooMS: 1.FACE-show room 2.BOOBS-play room        3.TUMMY-store room 4.VAGINA-men's room 5.ANUS-emergency room
→  Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!
→  RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well
→  I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!
→  Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!
→  NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000 dead...U.S.A sending money, France sending food, Britain sending replacement paki's!!!

→  i went for a walk with my uncle jim, when somebody threw a tomato
at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin. they fucking well
do when theyre still in the tin.....
→  Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?
→  Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout
→  Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
→  sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
→  BOY : May I hold your hand ??
   GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy
→  GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
   BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

→ Advantages of breast milk
A. No need to boli
B. Cat cannot steal
C.available in attractive containers
D.Liked by all age groups
E.Ek Par Ek FREE

→ 23 useless things in a man's body
20 nails cannot be hammered
2 balls u cannot throw
1 cock cannot crow
Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse


→ Cocktail Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum!
→ Triplets or Twins I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
→ satisfy a woman HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job

→ Life is like a dick Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
→ Rainbow Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
→ Love & War LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
→ Little Girl When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
→ Virginity Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!
→ Question Time Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?
A)walnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?
A)chestnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?
A)a mouth full of cock!
→ The Truth QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend?
ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!
→ Pringles Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't stop!!
→ Marriage A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits!
→ Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF
1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long
2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss
3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
→ Baby Please Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth are clean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
→ Pair of tights? HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!
→ Sex+drugs Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so fuck em all & lets get high!
→ Men like toilets Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS
1)dey r always out of order
2)dey stink
3)the nice ones r always engaged
4)dey consume large amounts of liquid
5)r constantlt full of shit!
→ Mary's bush Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!
→ Horny Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
→ 5 bad things 5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY
1)so dis explains ur car!
2)but still work,right?
3)r u cold?
4)shood i get a pump?
5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
→ Hickory, dickory, dock Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block
→ Mary had a little lamb Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her panties off,his wooly dick got hard!
→ Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, Fucked her arse & went 2 bed!
→ Being a student Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!
→ Down on her Knees Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a fuckin good job!
→ Cat and the Sausage A cat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws wet,then it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!
→ Oral sex Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!
→ Mary's bike Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time the wheels went round the spokes went up her cunt
→ NewsFlash *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000 tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !

→ Nutella I love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and lick it all . Love always , Nutella.
→ U and the Pope do u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a miracle!! :)
→ Old Days in days of old wen knights were bold + condoms wernt invented they tied socks around their cocks + people like u were prevented.
→ Sex, Drugs + Birthcontrol Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll
Speed, weed and birthcontrol,
lifes a bitch, then u die,
so fuck the world
lets get high..

→ Kiss Me Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!
→ How many letters How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
→ My Roof? last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof??
→ Foot and Mouth mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right now cos its got foot and mouth
→ Blondes What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop
→ Operator This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you
→ Blonde Womens legs what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens right leg? don't know they never met!
→ This Way Up Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H
→ I love you This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it
i
i l
i lo
i lov
i love
i love y
i love yo
i love young girls with Shaven Pussys!
→ Mary's Lambs Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and now they're black and crispy.
→ Sheep Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply shut the fuck up your get us all shot.
→ Butter Your teeth are so yellow, i can't believe it's not butter!!!
→ Condom factory Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
→ Yo Mama Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
→ Mary Stinks Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark as charcoal.So most the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!
→ Mary's Duck mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would fuck
→ Tampons whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and a large tampon?....they r all stuck up cunts!

Dirty SMS

→ Man Teases his ex-wife's new husband: So, dude how was the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she was brand new.

→ Whenever u feel low, depressed or useless, remember that u r the same sperm that won a battle against a million others.


→ Blonde: I think my tits are full of water.
Doctor: How do u figure that?
Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pussy gets wetv

→ Q: What's the definition of indefinitely?
A: When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you are in.....definitely.

→ Cricketer describing a nude girl:
There is no cover, there is no extra cover, there 2 silly points, 2 fine legs & a deep gully, with little grass on the pitch.

→ What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!

→ What is invisible sex?
A male Negro fucking a female Negro under moonless night in a coal mine wearing a black condom.

→ Q: Does penis deserve overtime & hazard pay?
A: Yes! Coz it works in deep, damp, hot tunnels, often head down & mostly in night shifts!

→ UR msgs r like a Girl's Period, comes once a month for 3-4days & disappears. But My msgs r like a Man's Sperms that come Daily or Twice a Day. So msg like a Man.

→ Prof teaching muscle movement, asks a lady: Do you know what your asshole does when you have an orgasm?
Lady: Sure, he's at the office, working!

→ A woman who arouses a man and leaves is called a Cockteaser. What is a man who does the same called?
A Moisturiser.

→ Our love will never become cold and hollow unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

→ A prostitute's nursery rhyme:
One two lets screw,
Three four I'm a whore,
Five six suck the dick,
Seven eight ejaculate,
Nine ten fuck me again.

→ A friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone sucks them. Not like vagina coz it tears. You r like a penis coz it always stands when needed.

→ A man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's painful.
Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don't hv hole, I'm putting it in ur hole & u say it hurts

→ 3 men sitting in a cafe, all wanking.
Waitress: What the fuck are you all doing?
One points to a sign that reads: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!

→ Happiness is like penis; always looks small if u hold it in ur hands but when u learn to share it, u'll realize how big & precious it is!

→ Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms ideal for fuckers who dont know when to pull out

→ Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour.

→ They have found a new position in the Karma Sutra. It's called the 'plumber'...
Two of you stay in all day and no f*cker comes!

→ Women r the best Engines: Accepts any size of Piston, are self Lubricating, start up with a Finger, automatic oil change every 4 week.

→ Sex poetry: It's not the length, it's not the size, it's not how many times u can make it rise. It's not how well it fits, but how late it spits

→ Skoda recently launched a new car model LAURA. All drivers are having a tough time when theor Memsahibs say: Driver Laura Nikalo!

→ Little Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a penis like a peanut.
Mommy: U mean it's small?
Little Girl: No, it's salty.

→ Man gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later on they split up & man wants blood back. She throws a used tampon at him & says: Pay u monthly, u bastard!

→ The first day at the London sperm bank was pretty unsuccessful. Only three men made appointments and, of those, one came on the bus and the other two missed the tube.

→ All eggs in women decided to fight against sperms. They waited with guns in the pussy. That night no one came. Suddenly 1 shouted: Hamla Peeche se hua hai...

→ What is Long & Hard, has a hole at the tip and when u insert it into a wet, hairy & tight hole makes u feel better?
Vicks Inhaler

→ When u don't know whether to luv or hate, when u r in confused state, don't feel and don't debate, just sit alone & ...... MASTURBATE

Decent SMS Jokes

→  KNOWING YOURSELF

Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.                                                          

→  WHO YOU TRUST

There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.


→  GRATEFUL

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.


→  WASTING YOUR TIME

Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.


→ YOUR SMILE

Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.


→  YOU CAN'T...

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.


→  BEAUTIFUL MOON

I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I... I'd rather look at the moon again.. ;)

→  TYPE OF EGGS

There r 6 types eggs. Chicken egg = ji dan, Duck egg = ya dan, Bomb = zha dan, Person readin dis = hun dan, if u r smilin nw = chun dan & if angry = ben dan.


→  VALUE OF LIFE

The value of life does not depend on the length of time on this Earth but rather on the amount of love given and shared to the people we care about.


→  MEN!

Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all problems begin with MEN!


→  FRIENDSHIP MEANS...

I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha


→  HEARTBREAKS

Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and Cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

Best Friend SMS

 Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.

→ To find a truly great friend, you have to keep one eye closed - to keep him, two.

→ True friends are those who are there for you unconditionally. Never do they question, but always offer support no matter what the circumstances are. Best Friends are the people worth living for.

→ Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.

→ A best friend is somebody who knows every last thing about you, yet still manages to like you anyway.

→ The medicine of life is to have several true faithful friends.

→ A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.

→ I do not want a friend who smiles when I smile who weeps when I weep for my shadow in the pool can do better than that.

→ A true friend cares for you if she says nasty things to your face instead of behind your back.

→ Real friendship is most notable in those times of trouble. Times of prosperity are full of 'friends'.

→ True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

→ Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.

→ No one person can possibly combine all the elements supposed to make up what everyone means by friendship.

→ Life without friendship is like the sky without sun.

→ Friendship is a single soul living in two bodies.

→ Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship -- never.

→ Two people can't wish to be friends long if they can't manage to forgive each other's minor failings.

→ Life is nothing without friendship.

→ Love is friendship set on fire.

→ Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.

→ There is no distance too far between best friends, for friendship gives wings to the heart.

→ There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.

1986 ke girl

1986 ke girl; Mama jeans pehen lon
Mom;Na baiti log kiya kahen gay.
2006 ke girl;Mama mini skirt pehen lon
Mom; pehen baiti kuch to pehen

Can U name FIVE Great KINGS

Can U name FIVE Great KINGS who have brought HAPPINESS into PEOPLES LIVES??
ANSWER: "drin-KING, smo-KING, lic-KING, suc-KING & ofcourse fucKING

One is looking very upset by thinking that

One is looking very upset by thinking that.......
"HOW HIS SISTER HAS 2 BRITHERS AND HE HAS ONLY ONE"

Man: sir i m married

Man: sir i m married, i had 10 childs, plz tell me my favorite stone, favorite star, & favorite number, Astropamist: Oh. No. ab ap ka guzara SABAZ SITARA sey hi ho ga...

PATENT:- DOCTOR

PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH MUJHE BAHUT PATLE DAST AA RAHE HAI
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- DOCTOR SAABH BAHUT PATLE
DOCTOR:- KITNE PATLE
PATENT:- SAABH ITNE PATLE KI SMS PADNE VALLA KULLA KAR LE

A girl & her grandma

A girl & her grandma were sitting in the balcony. Girl shouted to her mother[who was inside]"mom, Tom cruise is coming"
Mother:"you come inside"
Few minutes later Girl shouted, "mom, Clinton is coming"
Mother:"Ask your Grandma also to come inside

A daughter sends

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."  

Best SMS of the year

Best SMS of the year- a Mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 Years, but a girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes

A Wife is sleeping

A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up quickly my hasband is here!!!"
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and then realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation????????????

Laloo Prasad Yadav

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we willturn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised."You Japanese are very inefficient" he stated. "Give me three days and Iwill turn Japan into the next Bihar!"

After having resigned

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION !! "Laloo, third from left!

At a bar in New York,

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender ,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Lalooreplies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED

Once Laloo

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". . The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you"and puts the phone down

chota sardar

chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki!

Once Laloo

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was a huge rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved

Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?

Ques : Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ans : Just for Formality, like 2 Boxers shaking hands before Fight

Maid cleaning bedroom found

Maid cleaning bedroom found a used condom and kept looking at it. Madam asked dont you have sex in the village, Maid "Yes we do but not till the skin drops off

A husband was stung by

A husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it became swollen.  His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is.

Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?

Which Type Of Woman Is Yours?
HARD-DISK Woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Woman:Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expec

75yrz old man got married with a girl o

75yrz old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng.

Musharraf said to his mother

Musharraf said to his mother.  Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai!  Jab bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi utaro

A boy and gal of 5th class asked(In Urdu)

A boy and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi"

Acute Angina

A man to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that she has acute Angina.

behind every SUCCESSFUL woman

behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man..

A sardar was running with his pregnent wife

A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa

Husband to a newly wed Wife

Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there

sardar ji to his friend:

sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari ushkil main hoon mairi bivi mujh say aik kiss ka  100 RS laiti hay ..... friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay

Man:what is million years to u?

Man:what is  million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye

After a quarrel, a husband said

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice.

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa..

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!

Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.

Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer

what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S

what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night

Mother to Teenage Daughter

Mother to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?

A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction

A woman goes 2 a dentist 4 tooth extraction
doc tells her 2 lie down and gets ready with tools
lady lifts her skirt,doc says im not a gynacologist im dentist
she says i want to get my hubbys tooth removed

A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:

A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
'' Can anyone make me feel like a woman b4 I die?''
So a man takes off his clothes n say,''Iron these!''

Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend

Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend go out with other guys.

Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.

Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.

What do you call a wife who is sexy,

What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!

Whats the closest thing to a womans period?

Whats the closest thing to a womans period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesnt come,everythings f~cked

My wife ran away with my best friend.

My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him

Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave

Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient to Doctor:The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back

Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny

Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible? Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born

Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES(In Urdu)

Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO "CHILDREN DAY" MANANA PADTA HAI

Girls are like roads

Girls are like roads,more the curves,more the dangerous they are

Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa afte

Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death, Wife!, but why? He is ur no 1 enemy,Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa sing

Once a chunti saw a dali (IN URDU)

Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE MITHA, oyehoy

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case. Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,

AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

Laloo bada chalak hai (in URDU)

Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai.

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever

Sardar was writing something very slowly.

Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.

Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you

Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.  

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum (In URDU)

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister...

Ik raat bahu ne (In Urdu)

Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii

Two Lovers Plan to die

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.